Sadistic Love: Ammon & Tamar
The 4 types of love that have been termed are erotic, philia, storge, and agape.
I believe we can see examples of these different types of love in different parts of the Scripture.
A type of love that is not very much mentioned is Sadistic Love. I believe we can see this love in the biblical account of Ammon and Tamar.
“In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” “Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’ ” So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.” David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. “Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.” “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!” “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.” But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.”
2 Samuel 13:1-2, 4-19 NIV
The Word says that Ammon, son of David, fell in love with his sister to the point that he became obsessed with her. His love and obsession for Tamar led him to rape and hurt her. Ammon was a man in the Bible whose love grew cold and failed. This is the type of wicked heart that the Lord does not want us to have.
Ammon’s heart failed when he hurt Tamar even more by denying her rather than showing what is true and genuine love for her. This type of obsessive and abusive love is sadistic.
What Ammon loved most and became obsessed with was Tamars’ virginity. After taking Tamar as a servant for selfish gain, Ammon hated and denied her.
Ammon did not show Godly love to Tamar.
The Word details in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 what is true and genuine Love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
The Lord Calls Us by Our Name
“To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.”
John 10:3 KJV
Jesus Christ is the name above all names.
To know Jesus we must know each other.
To get to know someone we must know their name first before putting them a name that the Lord did not give them.
Worse Than an Unbeliever
WARNING:
It is an abomination for a man to not care for his family. Worse yet, it is an abomination for him not to be required to provide financial support for his household after a separation.
Many times adultery can split a family into two. When this occurs, statistically, the women can lose financial status and the man can be favored financially.
The Word requires that men be the head of the household.
“But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 NLT
But what can happen if the man abandons his position as the head of the household?
“But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”
1 Timothy 5:8 NLT
What occurs is that the man can surrender his position of authority to the women and the women must take his position.
The women can in fact take a position of authority over a man, when the man fails to complete his God given assignment.
Jesus takes care of His daughters and that’s a promise…
““Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief— as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,” says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will take you back.”
Isaiah 54:4-7 NLT
Visible in the Light
“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”
Ephesians 5:8-13 NIV
Many times those who are living in sin and love to do it do not like to come to the light because our deeds are exposed in the light but when we submit to the light of Jesus only then can we begin to see.
“You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.”
1 Thessalonians 5:5-8 NIV
Stop the Barking and Biting!
“Beware of those ‘dogs,’ those who do evil, those mutilators who tell you that you must be circumcised to be saved.”
Philippians 3:2 NLT
The real dogs we must be careful not to become are dogs of the heart. This is done by guarding our hearts from hypocrisy and pride.
Help us, Lord Jesus, not to become dogs of the heart.
Humble us always 🧎🏾♀️➡️
Becoming a dog of the heart is the most dangerous thing ⚠️
“We start barking when we don’t stop to listen to someone else, the dogs are the ones that don’t like to listen to someone else but themselves.”
“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
Galatians 5:14-15 NIV
Jesus Cancels our Legal Indebtedness
Jesus cancels our legal indebtedness as sinners which is why we must come to Him first…
I once worked for a non-profit organization that aimed to clear low income American citizens of their criminal record and history. Today, I understand why the Lord put it in my heart to share the Gospel while working in this position. The Lord Jesus wants men and women to clear themselves with Him first and we help do this by spreading the Gospel.
“In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh was put off when you were circumcised by Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.”
Colossians 2:11-15 NIV
When Jesus was being crucified, He was crucified along with two criminals.
“Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
Luke 23:32-34
There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews. One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.””
Luke 23:38-43 NIV
Which criminal are you?
What are you doing with the money bag?
Robbing from the Temple of God
Matthew 21:12-17 KJV (King James Version)
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, and said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves. And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them. And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the son of David; they were sore displeased, and said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise? And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there.
The Lord Jesus wants us to be very wise about our money. If robbery of the Temple of God occurred in the times of Jesus, it is highly likely that we can be seeing this today. It is important that we are not selling and buying in the Temple, this angers the Lord very much.
It is not just about donating our finances either but it is about where our finances are going and what we are doing with it. Our finances can either be going to a product for selfish gain or they can either be going to healing the blind and the lame.
Let us pray and ask the Lord for guidance and conviction through the Holy Spirit to be able to walk in obedience to God’s will.
Let us ask ourselves -
What are we doing with the money bag?
You Snooze You Loose
The Lord wants us awake. When we ask the Lord to open our eyes He is faithful to do it but we need to keep our eyes fixed on Him.
“Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Take Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?””
Matthew 14:22-31 NIV
Peter asked the Lord to call him out and Jesus did. This is when he was tested in keeping his eyes fixed on Jesus and not on the tribulations and the waves surrounding him. It was Peter’s mission to keep faith to do what the Lord had called him out to do and not sink.
The Lord wants us awake and with our eyes wide open so that we do not sink.
The Lord also wants us to take the plank out of our own eye. This means that we need to focus on what is going on in our own heart, soul and relationship with Him so that we can grow before we can help others efficiently.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Matthew 7:3-5 NIV
God Hates Violence
Jesus teaches us how to confront a violent person, let’s follow His way.
“The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”
Psalms 11:5 NIV
“Do not envy the violent or choose any of their ways. For the Lord detests the perverse but takes the upright into his confidence.”
Proverbs 3:31-32 NIV
“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”
Matthew 5:39 NIV
““Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.”
Matthew 26:52 NIV
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Matthew 5:9 NIV
The Kiss of an Enemy
An enemy can also kiss.
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Proverbs 27:6 NIV
“Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.”
Matthew 26:14-16 NIV
This monetary exchange between Judas and the chief priests was where Judas exchanged his soul for 30 pieces of silver. This exchange changed Judas identity from a servant of God to a thief that wanted to rob Jesus of God’s glory.
“While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.”
Matthew 26:47-50 NIV
After Judas sold Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, he kissed him to signal that he wanted to destroy him. Jesus knew what was going to happen and entrusted His life in God’s hands.
This tells us that there are people who can use the appearance of loving someone close to them but really in their heart is the intention of deceit and destruction.
Guard Your Peace
Our human eyes can consume so many images daily but it’s how you react to what you see that can impact your heart.
Are you going to linger on a thought or are you going to reject it and keep moving?
Matthew 5:27-30 NIV
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
As Christians we live off of the Grace of God.
This means that you can commit sexual sin in your heart by even looking at someone with Lust. The Bible says this person has already committed sin in their heart. So this also goes the same for any sin not just the sexual sin. Sin is sin. What I love is that Jesus not only brings us to conviction in this verse but He also tells us how we can avoid eventually having our whole body thrown into hell.
He says if your right eye causes you to stumble…
What does this mean?
This means you can stumble in your heart by what you have let in. The Word says the eyes are the lamp of the body.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
Matthew 6:22-23 NIV
This means that what we consume or let in to our hearts can eventually infect us internally if we do not take the proper steps to seeking and walking in the light that is…Jesus.
So what do you do?
We repent by taking action. Notice how Jesus tells us to gouge out our eye and throw it away.
Cutt off the infection before it spreads. For if one body part becomes infected this means we take our heart to Jesus so that our heart and ultimately our entire body does not become infected with darkness and that we may receive the necessary healing. However, it is also important that the wound is cured with the proper healing process. Does this mean that you agitate the wound, no. Does this mean that you maltreat the wound, no, you take the proper precaution so that that wound is healed and restored. You also make sure that the wound is in the right environment for healing. But above all else we must always take our wounds to Jesus so that He carries us as He remains faithful to complete the good work that He began in us.
Two Godly Men in the Bible
Please continue further to learn about two men who loved each other in the Word within the context of a divine assignment from God.
David and Johnathan loved each other and even kissed, this does not mean they were in a homosexual relationship attempting to engage in physical relations or public nudity.
Their love for each other was pure and extraordinary.
2 Samuel 1:26 NIV
“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”
There was a pure spiritual and physical agreement between the two.
1 Samuel 18:1-4 NIV
“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.”
1 Samuel 20:41 NIV
“After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.”
This relationship did not impact their allegiance and service to the True Almighty God. Recall that David was a man after God’s own heart chosen by God to fulfill a purpose for His kingdom.
1 Samuel 13:14 NIV
When God rejected Saul and affirmed David as King -
“But now your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.””
Do Not Go Beyond the Context
If two men are publicly dancing together in union then they are doing so professionally to complete an assignment.
There is no reason to go beyond the context.
What needs to be considered is the context of the situation before we envision a hypothetical situation and lose our peace.
Keep your head straight, don’t linger on what you see and move on.
Isaiah 26:3 New King James Version
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
God Blesses Marriage
I am smiling!
God honors traditional marriage and He wants us to remember that!
Just when many thought American entertainment was too far gone, the SuperBowl LX Half-Time performance showed America that traditional marriage is to be honored as something good and beneficial to our American values.
Not only did the performance show the world that traditional marriages are still valued in America but it also showed that immigrants and migrant farm workers are a blessing to the American economy and infrastructure.
Let’s keep praying for the Move of God and His Truth over America.
Matthew 5:43-45 NIV
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
Love Comes From God
1 John 4:7-9 NIV
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.”
God’s Love is greater than Hate. Hate produces death but Love produces Life.
Song of Songs 8:6 NIV
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”
God Hates Immorality
God Hates Immorality and the Thought of It.
Physical intimacy is between two people not three.
“For the time that is past is sufficient for you to have done what the Gentiles do, walking in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, orgies, revelries, and abominable idolatries.”
1 Peter 4:3
We see immorality occurred in the Old Testament. This caused many people in ancient biblical times to lose their life and their blessings.
“Now Israel remained in Shittim, and the people began to commit harlotry with the daughters of Moab. They invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods. So Israel joined themselves to Baal of Peor, and the anger of the Lord was aroused against Israel. Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Take all the leaders of the people and hang them before the Lord in the sun, that the fierce anger of the Lord may turn away from Israel.’ So Moses said to the judges of Israel, ‘Each of you kill those of your men who have joined themselves to Baal of Peor.’”
Numbers 25:1-5
“So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.”
2 Samuel 16:22 NIV
“Let us walk properly, as in the daytime, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
Romans 13:13-14
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 NIV
The First Murder
It All Begins Here
Envy -> Hatred -> Murder
1 John 3:15
Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
4 Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, (Genesis 4:4 NIV)
5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. (Genesis 4:5 NIV)
6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you so angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” 10 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.” 15 But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. (Genesis 4:6-12 NIV)